F*** the Tough Guy Show

Help pick my book cover design! Trump and Musk's cop out as leaders. Video on "5Cs" for a healthier masculinity.

This is what Google’s AI tool ImageFX offered when I asked for a mock up cover of the book I’m writing.

I like how this image conveys the power and determination—archetypical masculine energies—to break out of the shackles of “the Tough Guy Show.” What do you think?!

The first item of this edition of FrauenTimes invites you to share your thoughts on several rough cover options. Is the one above too “aggro”?

Talk about too aggro. The second item is a blog about the misguided, horrific efforts by Donald Trump and Elon Musk to slash the federal workforce. Fire everyone? True leaders fire people up.

The third item is a video I wish Trump and Musk would watch. It is about how 5Cs—curiosity, courage, compassion, connection and contemplation—can help men evolve their behavior and beliefs. (4 min. 30 sec.)

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Help pick my book cover design!

Do any of these AI images seem promising for the cover of F*** the Tough Guy Show?

My pal Matt Spaur gave me a book-related challenge the other day.

He said a trick for successful screenwriters is to create the poster of the movie you’re writing before you write the whole thing. That forces you to imagine the title, subtitle and “vibe” you’re trying to produce with the project.

“Do the same thing with your book cover,” Matt suggested.

So with the help of Google’s ImageFX tool, I have generated a few options. I used

And I’d love to get your input. I’d be grateful if you would comment about your favorite option among the four drafts I’m sharing here. (Or say if you hate them all!)

My working title is F*** the Tough Guy Show: Finding Myself as a Man, Finding Our Way as Men. The book will be a blend of my “little story” of freeing myself to live a healthier life as a man, and the “big story” of how many men also are quietly evolving their views of manhood to a fuller, more soulful one.

Please ignore the odd text and misspellings in the images. Those mistakes seems to be a quirk of ImageFX.

(Also, please ignore for the time being the landscape nature of the images. I plan to work with a graphic designer to create the final cover. This is more about capturing the spirit of the book.)

Thanks in advance for your input!

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Option 4 (I know—it’s pretty “extra”!)

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Fire Them? Fire Them Up Instead

Why Trump’s effort to force out federal employees is a misguided cop-out

Donald Trump and his deputy Elon Musk are firing and pushing out federal employees largely in the name of removing “slackers” and creating a more efficient, “accountable” government.

But they’re taking the easy way out.

And they’re operating from a deeply misguided view of human beings, of leadership and what makes for a high-performing organization.

What our federal government needs more than anything is an inspiring president who trusts people and gives them the autonomy and resources to do their work.

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I’ve researched leadership and effective workplace cultures for more than two decades. Data science and stories alike suggest there’s a better way than the slash-and-burn tactics that Trump and his chainsaw surrogate Elon Musk are using.

Consider the lessons of my client and friend Robert Rasmussen, a San Diego-based tech CEO who recently wrote a memoir about his journey as a business leader in Scandinavia and the United States. Robert began his leadership career with an attitude similar to Donald Trump’s. But he did so in Norway, where he worked for telecommunications giant Ericsson. When Robert took over a team of 20 people, he immediately wanted to remove two people he felt were poor performers.

But when he asked his supervisor, a Finnish man named Johan, for permission to do so, his request was denied.

“Robert, we do not fire people here,” Johan told him. “You must fire them up.”

What Johan meant was that leaders must get to know people as people, not simply as employees. Since it was difficult to fire someone–especially seasoned union members–in Scandinavian companies, learning to place them where they would succeed required time and effort from Rasmussen.

But it was worth it.

Robert writes that by “feeding” people–meeting their needs for financial security, professional growth, autonomy on the job and a worthy purpose–teams routinely exceeded his expectations. After rising up the corporate ladder in Ericsson and other technology companies, Robert co-founded Agile Six. Over the past decade, the San Diego-based firm has grown to more than 100 employees, served agencies including the Department of Veterans Affairs and the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services and earned an award for providing innovative solutions to the government.

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Robert’s experience of trusting in people runs counter to the ideology of the Trump Administration.

Part of President Trump’s purge of government employees has to do with political alignment. He’s also exacting “retribution” on officials who sought to hold him accountable in the past.

But the mass cuts also reflect a belief that federal workers are loafers–inefficient and malevolent members of a “deep state.”

“They’re destroying this country,” Trump said of federal workers last year. “They’re crooked people, they’re dishonest people. They’re going to be held accountable.”

This cynical worldview was put on display earlier this year in an email to federal employees by the Office of Personnel Management, according to The New York Times.

“We encourage you to find a job in the private sector as soon as you would like to do so,” the email reportedly stated. “The way to greater American prosperity is encouraging people to move from lower productivity jobs in the public sector to higher productivity jobs in the private sector.”

But the notion that government operations are inherently less productive than the private sector is simplistic. It is willfully blind to the special role the government plays in society and to evidence that public agencies can be more effective and more trustworthy than private sector counterparts.

Consider one of the largest, most important services the federal government provides: Medicare coverage for seniors and disabled Americans. For nearly 30 years, there has been a private-sector version of Medicare called Medicare Advantage, where federal dollars are funneled through insurance corporations such as UnitedHealthcare.

The data shows Medicare Advantage costs taxpayers 22 percent more than traditional Medicare–to the tune of $83 billion annually. And companies offering Medicare Advantage plans routinely deceive consumers.

In some cases, we need more–rather than fewer–federal workers. Look at the recent tragic plane crash in the Washington, D.C. area. Reports indicate air traffic control was short-staffed at the time of the deadly accident. In fact, workforce shortages are common throughout the federal government, according to the Partnership for Public Service, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization.

In fact, evidence is piling up that Americans are being hurt by the drastic, blanket job cuts and work restrictions in agencies such as the Social Security Administration, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Department of Transportation.

Making matters worse, many federal employees getting the ax were told that poor performance was the cause–even though the workers had had stellar job reviews.

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Instead of tearing down their organizations, the best leaders build up their people.

The leaders who cultivate the highest-performing teams are purpose-driven, humble and trust-based.

My teammates and I at research and advisory firm Great Place to Work discovered these qualities in a study that involved 75,000 employees and 10,000 managers. We named these effective supervisors “For All Leaders,” because we found that the managers who were the most inclusive also had the highest marks for indicators of productivity, agility and innovation.

For All Leaders also excel at retaining people.

If only President Trump was more focused on recognizing the talent, goodwill and potential of the federal workforce he now oversees.

If he did, then maybe he’d get to work firing them up to deliver greatness to the American people.

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Redefining Masculinity: Embracing the 5 Cs Approach

Here’s a video that might do Donald and Elon some good. It shares five practices that can help a man break out of the “confined masculnity” that severely limits the roles men can play and how we relate. Trump is among the least compassionate leaders we’ve ever witnessed, and Elon Musk recently said: “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”

I disagree. Men, especially, need more empathy and compassion in their lives. Empathy and kindness for our own hurts, and compassion for others. Compassion is one of the 5Cs I discuss in this video. Big shout-out to Ed Adams, my co-author on our 2020 book Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection. Ed and I came up with the first four of these 5Cs together (Curiosity, Courage, Compassion and Connection). I added Contemplation in the wake of the book’s publication. These 5Cs are essential to developing an inclusive definition of success, fostering better collaboration, and achieving greater joy in work and life.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO (4 min. 30 sec.)

Each edition of FrauenTimes includes a video with advice designed to support men at work—as part of workplaces that work for all.

Today’s video comes from AthenaOnline, a great resource for elevating leadership skills and improving workplace culture. Note that this video link becomes obsolete after 14 days (March 25, 2025). After that, you’ll need an AthenaOnline subscription to access it.

Thanks for reading FrauenTimes! See you again soon!